Dbrand Companion Cube: Up Close Before Destruction

I couldn’t believe it when I first heard the news. Surely Dbrand must have anticipated this outcome. There had to be a backup plan, right?

“There is no further plan. We fucked this one up,” Dbrand CEO Adam Ijaz now admits.

He confirms that the company will be forced to destroy every single cube it manufactured. And no, they won’t even get the satisfaction of tossing them into an incinerator for some thematically appropriate destruction.

Here’s the silver lining: I managed to capture up-close-and-personal photos of the (likely) copyright-infringing gadget on June 19th, before the legal team got involved. You can either wistfully imagine what could have been, or use them as an outlet for your schadenfreude at Dbrand’s incredibly embarrassing blunder. Or both. I won’t judge.

Below are my photos in roughly chronological order. You can tap on any image once or twice to enlarge it.

The barcode reads “THE CAKE IS A LIE”.

The hex key used to remove the four back cover screws fits neatly inside the case when not in use.

The fit was tight and secure.

Tight enough that the Steam Machine didn’t slide in under its own weight.

Here’s the interior without the magnetic front cover attached.

The USB port covers feature squishy, rubber-like covers held in place by friction and expansion. The microSD cover is magnetically attached.

None of the vents are blocked, and the four feet keep the Machine well elevated off the ground.

“Ensure upright orientation before assembly or incineration.”

The front vent maintains a generous air gap, mirroring the Steam Machine’s own front panel.

Perched on the button, there’s still an air gap at the bottom thanks to the four feet.

Here’s the inside of the power button passthrough pusher.

The USB ports sit slightly offset within their sockets. This makes inserting my slightly oversized USB flash drive impossible, though it would have worked fine with cables.