How AI is making modern daters ‘relationally stupid’

Artificial intelligence now touches nearly every corner of daily life, from planning vacations to managing fitness routines. But a growing number of singles are turning to chatbots for help with their love lives, using AI to craft clever text responses, polish dating profiles, and even navigate breakups. Relationship experts warn this trend could backfire in serious ways.

Jackie Dorman, creator of the “Last Year Single” program, told Fox News Digital that relying on AI for romantic interactions is making people “relationally stupid.” She sees more individuals outsourcing emotional decisions and conversations to tools like ChatGPT, which she argues undermines the very skills needed for healthy relationships.

“That’s really the danger of all AI across the board in every area is that we are creative beings. We create, we think, we learn from our mistakes, and we make new decisions. If we’re always outsourcing it to a computer, to technology, then we are not going to learn,” Dorman said.

According to Dorman, AI has infiltrated nearly every phase of dating, from first impressions to final goodbyes. She noted that people craft witty profiles using bots, then fail to deliver the same charm in person. “They’re outsourcing their breakups to AI. They’re outsourcing, texting, they’re creating their dating profiles, and it makes them look really witty and really fun. And then you get in person, and it’s like, ‘Is this the same person that wrote the dating profile?’ Because they’re not funny, they’re not witty,” she said.

The concern extends beyond mismatched expectations. Dorman warned that skipping the awkward, embarrassing moments of real interaction prevents people from building authentic communication skills. “You haven’t put in the reps of meeting people, saying stupid things, feeling embarrassed, learning how to converse with people,” she explained.

Dr. Christina Tracy Stein, a licensed marriage and family therapist, acknowledged that AI can be a helpful organizational tool, especially when someone feels overwhelmed or anxious. However, she cautioned against letting chatbots replace genuine human connection. The line gets crossed, Stein said, when individuals stop trusting their own instincts.

“If we don’t pause and make sure to be like, ‘OK, this is information. I’m going to use this information to help me evaluate my situation or help me determine what feels authentic,’ that’s where it’s a problem when we’re not relying on ourselves,” Stein noted.

Rather than creating entirely new problems, Stein believes AI is amplifying existing dating challenges. People have long presented polished versions of themselves early in relationships, and AI simply makes that easier. “I work with a lot of couples, and I always talk about the big bait and switch. We put forward our best selves … and then, once we’ve sold ourselves to this potential partner, then we let down our hair and stop doing the things that we sort of put out there in the beginning,” she said.

Both experts also expressed concern about the rise of AI companions, which they described as deeply one-sided. Stein pointed out that these relationships lack accountability. “If you say something mean to your chat or Claude or you ignore it, or you’re having a lack of awareness, there’s no consequence,” she said.

Dorman observed that women, in particular, seem drawn to AI bots, possibly because they are “not finding the emotional maturity they’re looking for in human men.” Chatbots can appear endlessly caring and supportive, creating a tempting but hollow substitute for real connection.

Ultimately, both Dorman and Stein stressed that AI should remain a tool, not a replacement for the authenticity, vulnerability, and even imperfections that make relationships work. “I hope that people will see that what makes you lovable is your imperfections. That’s what people fall in love with. They fall in love with your quirkiness,” Dorman said.