“Date Everything” Fails as a Dating Sim – Here’s Why
▼ Summary
– Romantic games are a successful but often overlooked genre, with popular series and diverse themes thriving on platforms like Steam.
– *Date Everything* is a comedic dating simulator that humorously allows players to romance objects, but its lack of understanding of dating sim mechanics turns interactions into a meaningless clickfest.
– Unlike traditional dating sims, *Date Everything* lacks consequences, stakes, or commitment, making relationships feel hollow and unchallenging.
– The game’s tone is inconsistent, mixing silly humor with sudden, jarring content warnings about serious topics like PTSD and violence, which feel out of place.
– *Date Everything* fails to deliver a satisfying romantic experience, with characters leaving immediately after achieving endings, undermining emotional investment and narrative depth.
Romantic video games often fly under the radar, yet they’ve quietly built a devoted following over the years. From nostalgic classics to modern indie hits, the genre offers everything from lighthearted flings to intense emotional journeys. Date Everything tries to carve its own niche as a comedic sandbox dating simulator where players can romance household objects, tables, lamps, even appliances, thanks to a pair of futuristic glasses. While the premise is undeniably amusing, the execution falls flat, revealing a fundamental misunderstanding of what makes dating sims compelling in the first place.
The game boasts 100 dateable objects, but quantity doesn’t translate to quality. Instead of fostering meaningful connections, the experience devolves into a mindless checklist. Each interaction feels hollow, with no consequences for juggling multiple “relationships” simultaneously. A magnifying glass acts like you’re its soulmate, oblivious to the fact you’ve already wooed half the kitchen appliances. The lack of stakes or emotional weight strips away any sense of investment, reducing romance to a tedious grind.
Authentic dating sims thrive on tension and consequences. Games like Tokimeki Memorial force players to make tough choices, neglect one character, and their friends might turn against you. Date Everything ignores these mechanics entirely. A cat clock obsessed with punctuality doesn’t care if you miss your scheduled meeting by days. Without repercussions, the interactions lose all meaning, leaving players with a shallow, unsatisfying loop.
The tone shifts jarringly between absurd humor and heavy themes. One moment, you’re flirting with a microwave named Luke Nukem; the next, you’re hit with content warnings about PTSD or manipulation. These sudden dips into darker territory feel out of place, clashing with the game’s otherwise whimsical vibe. Worse, the endings undermine any emotional payoff, characters you’ve spent hours bonding with abruptly leave, their departures framed as “happy endings.”
Consistency is key in dating sims. Players expect a clear tone and coherent mechanics, whether they’re navigating a fantasy kingdom or a high school drama. Date Everything can’t decide if it wants to be a raunchy comedy, a psychological thriller, or a feel-good romance. The result is a disjointed mess that fails to deliver on any front.
At its core, Date Everything misses what makes the genre special: the illusion of choice, the weight of relationships, and the satisfaction of earning a heartfelt conclusion. Instead, it offers a chaotic, half-baked experiment that feels more like a parody than a genuine tribute. Dating sims deserve better, and so do the players who love them.
(Source: PC Gamer)
